How Can Emotional Blackmailing Change Your Lifestyle?

Emotional blackmailing may occur in any relationship but is quite common in romantic relationships. Unlike ordinary blackmailing, it is a subtle manipulation that the victim sometimes does not even acknowledge unless they feel suffocated. Although things may seem quite perfect on the face, in actuality, these are on the verge of emotional breakdown. Getting trapped in such situations could do havoc to your mental and emotional health. Regardless of its intensity, emotional abuse greatly impacts your lifestyle.

How Emotional Blackmail Works?

Dr. Susan Forward (a well-known therapist), in her book "Emotional Blackmail," describes three tools for emotional blackmailing; guilt, fear, and obligation. Blackmailers do so by using your secrets, fears, or weaknesses. If you don't want to walk away from the relationship, you should take charge of your life. Emotional blackmailing does not start instantly; before that, it takes some time to foster emotional involvement. These are the six stages of emotional blackmail.

Demands: The emotional blackmailers start making demands to assert their authority on your actions.

Resistance: You don’t openly deny the demand but avoid doing the action openly.

Pressure: The manipulator conveys to you that something is intolerable for them, and there is no middle way.

Threat: The manipulator either manipulates you emotionally or intimidates you for their desirable act.

Compliance: You give in to avoid hard feelings. The manipulators might view it as their victory.

Repetition: The process starts all over again.

Emotional Blackmailing Impacts Your Life

Constant and severe emotional blackmailing can make the victim lose their sense of self-respect. The irony is that only victims can see the bruises on their souls. The sufferers doubt the authenticity of their ideas and actions. Their inability to confront the situation and fight for their rights lowers their self-esteem. The intimidator persistently instills in their feelings of guilt for going against their will and facing the “bad” consequences.

If the situation becomes worse, the victims might go into withdrawal and emotional isolation. It also threatens their mental and physical wellness by pushing them into depression, anxiety, eating disorders, insomnia, heart palpitations, and stomach disorders.

How to Cope With Emotional Blackmailing?

Emotional blackmailing might not be way too dangerous sometimes. But what is the point of being in a relationship that lacks tender feelings of kindness and respect, where one partner is always making apologies, making things work out, or is scared of the consequences otherwise. To create a healthy connection, you need to set your boundaries. Every partner should give others enough space and freedom to set their priorities.

Here are a few tips to reclaim your life.

Self-Care

Maintaining your health and peace of mind should be your priority. You are walking on the eggshells to satisfy an ungrateful person; it is not worth it. Take care of your needs; after all, you are in charge of your life. Eat well, do well and feel well. No one deserves emotional pressure.

Set Your Boundaries

There should be zero tolerance for derogatory language, melodrama, and disrespectful behavior. Make other people realize that you are not always available to them. You have an individual life of your own with another set of requirements.

Don’t Get Hard On Yourself

You may suffer an emotional trauma in emotional blackmailing. Stop blaming yourself; you are not responsible for correcting another person's behavior. You cannot fix things alone without a second party's collaboration. However, getting out of the experience is your responsibility.

Keep Yourself on the Safer Side

It is not essential to respond to every nitty-gritty of behavior. It provides a sort of positive reinforcement to the blackmailer. Distance yourself from the scene. Your emotional detachment would signal them that you understand the attention-seeking tactic and would not take it seriously.

Seek Help

Seek help from family, friends, or any therapist. The blackmailer might need help too. It takes two to tango. Stop feeling victimized, and the other person would stop feeling like a player. Better communication with careful reflection could improve the situation. Walk away if there is no hope of improvement in the manipulator's coercive attitude.

Conclusion

Bearing the burden of emotional blackmailing drains your mental energy. It makes your life miserable. Don’t let others play with your peace of mind. Instead of feeling helpless, set your boundaries and give value to your feelings and desires.